1. I am not to use any combat maneuver not specified in the Players Handbook, Even if I can *Demonstrate* it on my fellow players.
2. Threatening the DM does not constitute a Rules consensus.
3. Neither does burning the Players Handbook.
4. I am no allowed to Launch into a 5 minute rant on Wizards of the Coasts misrepresentation of historical or Cultural elements.
5. My Gnome tinkerer did not invent the IPhone in 1392.
6. Nor did he conceptualize the Microwave Oven.
7. The Klingon language is not a suitable substitute for Orcish.
8. My Dwarf does not have both a Napoleon complex and delusions of being a Goliath.
9. Bardic Inspiration is not changed into Demoralization when I choose to sing a Justin Bieber song.
10. I cannot justify any action simply by Saying “Your Mom.”
11. There is no such thing as a Lawful Good disciple of Cthulhu.
12. I will not summon Cthulhu simply because I did not receive the last slice of Pizza.
13. Just because I know memorized Pi does not mean that my Orc Barbarian did.
14. My Character does not know he is in an RPG, and even if he did, he would not be able to use this knowledge in any way Deadpool does.
15. I cannot take over as DM simply because the current one is a D-bag.
16. I am not to stab myself 23 times in the chest simply because I hate my character.
17. Especially when I am giving a motivational speech to the troops.
18. My wizard must not be an idiot.
19. I did not learn how to cook a dragon from my grandmother.
20. I cannot, in the middle of a game, scream “BUT I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!!!” Especially in a public location.
21. I must warn my fellow players in advance that I am Chaotic Evil.
22. My druid can in no way justify burning a forest to the ground.
23. I am not Batman.
24. I am not Superman.
25. If I am over 600 years old, and a Human, I cannot leap the Grand Canyon.
26. Humans only live for 100 years.
27. I am not allowed to use my DM's lack of knowledge of the rules to my advantage.
28. I am not allowed to kill a fellow PC simply because its player is a tool.
29. My Dwarf Artificer is not Bob the Builder.
30. No, I am not a god in disguise.
31. "Ladies’ man" is not a feat.
32. Neither is “I am the DM now.”
33. If I am awarded with 6000 gold peaces, it is common curtesy to wait at least 6 hours before blowing it in a casino.
34. My Angel character does not have a gambling problem.
35. I cannot suddenly “Remember” that I am a demigod.
36. My Dwarf Paladin cannot take levels as an anti-paladin.
37. There is no “Anti-DM” Class.
38. There are no Jedi in the forgotten realms.
39. I cannot go back in time to patent any product of a fortune 500 company.
40. I cannot use divination magic in a casino.
41. I cannot use enchantment magic to get a date.
42. I cannot use Conjuration magic simply because I have a thing for Succubus’s.
43. Necromancers, Long-Death Monks, and Necrophiliacs are completely different.
44. I cannot seduce the Boss monster.
45. I cannot help work the main villain through his emotional issues in order to turn him into a law abiding citizen.
46. Knocking a monster token off the table does not constitute a victory.
47. I cannot enlist in the opposing forces’ military.
48. My wizard is not secretly a Ninja.
49. My Gnome Bard is not “Orc-Curious.”
50. My dying wish cannot be to send all of my XP and equipment to the character I bring next week.
51. I am no longer allowed to drink caffeine before a session.
52. If a male player decides to play a female character, I cannot kill his PC’s repeatedly until he decides to play a Dude.
53. My characters do not know everything I know irl, that goes double for My Orc Barbarian with Intelligence 2.
54. No stat can go below -20.
55. I am not instantly saved from death simply because I am Christian.
56. I cannot use a Herbalism kit to grow marijuana.
57. My Paladin can serve only one god.